The honest UK numbers, not the reassurance version
When people ask "can I afford to have children?", they usually get one of two answers. Either "children are not as expensive as people think" or "you will find a way." Neither answer comes with numbers. This one comes with numbers.
The Child Poverty Action Group estimates that raising a child from birth to age 18 costs around £160,000 for a couple, and up to £200,000 for a single parent. That is not including housing or childcare.
But that headline number is not the useful number. The useful number is what children cost per year, and crucially, how those costs change at different life stages.
Ages 0-4: £8,000-£13,000 per year (high childcare dependency)
Ages 5-11: £6,000-£9,000 per year (reduced childcare, increased activities)
Ages 12-17: £7,000-£11,000 per year (teenagers cost more)
Source: Child Poverty Action Group, 2025
For children under 3, childcare is often the largest single expense. Average UK nursery costs range from £1,100 to £1,400 per month per child, depending on location. In London, this can exceed £2,000 per month.
The UK government offers 30 hours of free childcare per week for children aged 3-4, which helps. But this only covers term time. School holidays still leave a gap. And for children under 3, there is no free provision.
If you have two children in nursery, average cost in the UK: £1,800-£2,400 per month
That is £21,600-£28,800 per year before you pay for anything else
This is the number that changes the answer for many families.
Most financial planning fails because it looks at one year at a time. But children are a 20-year commitment. When you model the full cost over 20 years, the picture becomes clearer.
Two children, from birth to age 18, will cost approximately £300,000-£400,000 depending on your circumstances. That is not meant to scare you. It is meant to help you plan.
Before deciding, create a cash flow forecast that includes realistic childcare costs for your area. Use Delphina's free cash flow forecasting tool to model what your finances look like over 5, 10, and 20 years with children.
Tax-free childcare accounts, salary sacrifice schemes, grandparent childcare support, and part-time work adjustments can all reduce the effective cost. Know your options before assuming you cannot afford it.
The years from birth to age 3 are the most expensive relative to income. If you can survive that period financially, the long-term math often improves as children get older and childcare costs reduce.
"Can I afford to have children?" is the wrong question. The right question is: "If I have children, what does my financial picture look like, and what can I do to improve it?"
That question leads to action. The first question leads to anxiety.
Model how children affect your long-term finances. Run the numbers before you decide.